Boldness

I recently read the following sentences from the book 'Hot Milk' by Deborah Levy.

"......It is a matter of having a purpose, less apathy. Why not steal a fish from the market to make you bolder? Why do I need to be bolder? That is for you to answer.
His tone was reassuring, calm and serious considering he was probably mad."

This got me thinking about boldness and what actions we can carry out to achieve it.
Why be bold? How will being bold effect our lives or the way we live?

We often find ourselves in new or challenging situations when we need to be confident, strong and bold, but this can be easier said than done. These situations can have us doubting ourselves and what we are capable of. Being bold is a great way to approach these challenging situations or just generally a great way to stay focused or make life changes.
I'm not saying steal a fish, but carrying out an act of boldness could change our lives in small ways and help us gain perspective of whats important.
Being bold can be achieved in a whole host of ways, big or small. Asking a question whilst in a large group, sparking up a conversation with someone new, discussing a difficult subject  with family or friends, asking for a deserved pay rise at work or going for a work promotion or lastly wearing that bold item of clothing you haven't yet dared to wear.
Some of the above will take more confidence that others but any act of boldness can only positively effect the way we feel everyday.

I'm not one for new years resolutions, I find them too easily broken but I am going to make a stance to be more bold. Ultimately these smaller or larger acts will make you a stronger, knowledgeable and maybe even kinder individual both inside and out and that's got to be a great thing.

Ph Credit: Zara.com.

Brilliant reads for Autumn

Now summer's been and gone and Autumn is in full swing its a great time to delve into a book. Here's a few recommendations of books I've enjoyed over the past few months.

Bitter Orange by Claire Fuller.
Presently reading this dark psychological thriller set in a crumbling country house in 1969 England.

Into the Water by Paula Hawkins.
The second novel from the Girl on the Train writer. Another brilliant thriller about women from different eras ending life suspiciously in 'the drowning pool'.

From the Corner of the Oval Office by Beck Dorey-Stein.
An amazing insight into the life of Beck who worked as a stenographer in the Obama white house.

Autumn by Ali Smith.
About friendships coming in all shapes and forms.

Lace by Shirley Conran.
Lace has been named the original and much better 50 shades of Grey. Set in late 1978 this book follows the lives of four women living in London, Paris and New York.

The Wrong Knickers by Bryony Gordon.
A memoir from journalist Brynony about the antics she got up to in her twenties. Very hilarious and relatable.

Everything I know about Love by Dolly Alderton.
An amazingly relevant memoir about growing up as a millennial. Funny, intelligent and beautifully written. 

Places I stopped on the way Home by Meg Fee.
A beautifully written memoir about Meg's time living in New York city.

The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer.
An insight into the lives of six teenagers who met in the mid 1970’s and always vowed to be interesting. Fast forward two decades and their once strong friendship is put under strain by envy and crushing disappointment.

Reading, Watching & Listening #3

Reading

Autumn by Ali Smith
About friendships coming in all shapes and forms. 

Lace by Shirley Conran
Lace has been named the original and much better 50 shades of Grey. Set in late 1978 this book follows the lives of four women living in London, Paris and New York. I'm only one chapter in but so far I'm hooked.

Watching (on Netflix)

The Crown -Series 2
I've just finished another brilliant series of The Crown, but I am sceptical about how true the events and incidents displayed are, but still an interesting watch whether true or not.

Minimalists
An inspiring watch about living a minimalist lifestyle. It made me want to blitz my home of any unneeded items.

The Durrells
Set in 1935 a single mother who's had enough of life in England relocates to Corfu with her four teenage children. Funny, charming and heart warming and all set in the most beautiful location. Perfect for a Rainy Sunday.

Listening

The High Low (As always)
A funny and intellectual news and pop culture podcast with journalists and writers Pandora Sykes and Dolly Alderton. 

Ph Credit - Buzzfeed

Earrings are back and bolder than ever

A trend we can all get on board with, an accessory that jazz's up even the simplest of outfits and it's back and bolder than ever for the foreseeable. Yes, I'm talking about earrings. No matter where you look at the moment, whether your fashion conscious or not earrings are everywhere - in all matter of colours, shapes and sizes and I myself couldn't be happier. Yes ladies there is no better time to pull out those Pat Butcher esq earrings than now, whether it be for the office or Saturday night drinks its always acceptable. 

Ph Credit - Pinterest

The Fur Debate - Faux vs Real

Whilst I understand using real fur in fashion is often ethically and morally wrong, I do also wonder what effects faux fur is having on our planet. 

We are constantly trying to stop harming our planet. We have implemented numerous new and modern initiatives including recycling plastic, glass and paper, charging for plastic carrier bags in supermarkets and banning plastic straws in bars and restaurants all to try and reduce or slow down our environmental impacts. However, man made fibres in the form of faux fur are everywhere - faux fur coats, faux fur trims, faux fur accessories. 

In fashion and styling terms faux fur looks and sometimes feels great and as the above images show this material can be manipulated, sewn and shaped in diverse, innovative ways but what affect are these man-made fibres having on our planet?

It takes over 100,000 years for faux fur to biodegrade. Yes, long after we’ve vacated the planet that beloved faux fur coat or key ring will still be polluting and damaging the environment. 

Faux fur is great for getting the real fur look without any animal having to be mistreated but is this the best option? Is there a way real fur could be produced ethically?

Or is it best to refuse to buy either?  Ethically and morally which type of fur is best to buy? 
 

It’s a tough decision, many fashion designers have started to shun real fur in favour of faux fur but this is not always noted by anti fur protesters. At Mary Katrantzou’s AW18 show (above right) a protester stormed the runway to protest about real fur used in her collection when in actual fact all the fur used was faux. In recent news Italian fashion house Gucci have declared there collections will go fur free, stating it as 'no longer modern'. Designers and luxury brands are being forced to move with the times and are now starting to understand the thoughts and opinions of their customer.

Over the last two decades we have become more educated about what environmental impact our habits are having on the environment and we’ve become more interested in what we can do to help. 

Along with other industries the fashion industry has recently started to realise things need to change and sustainable fashion is starting to make waves. Everlane, Reformation, People Tree, Eileen Fisher and Zady have brilliant, stylish and ethical collections. These type of designers and brands are slowly gathering a growing number of followers within the fashion industry and have been discussed in editorial pieces in The Sunday Times Style and at The Copenhagen Fashion Summit which took place last month.
Its brilliant that this positive and modern initiative is making an impact, but I do believe ethical and slow fashion (the opposite to fast fashion) needs to be more accessible. It’s often expensive, therefore pricing your young fashion conscious customer out of the market.
Another obvious alternative to fast and ethical fashion which has less impact on the environment is purchasing second hand clothing. From the likes of eBay and Depop to vintage shops, these all give fashion garments another life and give our planet chance to recuperate. 
That said, as modern humans we love to shop, for either morale, style or social reasons and the majority still place old items in the bin which eventually end up in landfill. 

My rule is to buy less but of better quality and get creative, this includes faux fur too. Ensure that fur faux coat or accessory you buy is a forever piece, that can be worn every winter. This could be the most efficient, ethical and moral way to buy fur right now.

Ph Credit - Vogue

The friendships we don't have

So much time and energy is put into finding a boyfriend/spouse/lover/husband/partner or whatever you may name it. There's plentiful dating apps/websites and even television shows all designed to help you meet your other half, that person you want to settle down and fall in love with.There are many, many ways to find that someone, but non of the above are in place to find a friend. 

No commonly used app or website to meet someone who is like minded, on the same wave length and shares similar interests. It has become known to myself and probably others that making friends and meeting new people is difficult. Where can you meet new people? How do you go about it?

Meeting new people (outside of social norms - work or study) is daunting and nerve racking. It’s often assumed by a certain age most people have a large circle of friends from school, college or university. Friends who know you well, speak with regularly and go to in a crisis. But what if you don’t have this?  

What if like myself you have gone through life and only met a few people who you feel you connect with and have managed to stay in touch with. We all know how hard it is staying connected with friends. People’s lives and priorities change and making time for new or current friends can take a back seat. Plus our personalities and expectations of friendships change over time and what we expected from a friend ten years ago maybe somewhat different today. You have to be willing to make the effort but also understand and acknowledge that not all friendships will last forever.

I have recently read many articles about the great female friendships (squads, tribes and ride or die's) many women have in their lives and they wasp on about learning so much from these individuals. It all makes me feel rather envious. Yes, I love and appreciate the few friends I have but I feel it’s always great to meet new people who bring something new to your life and help you grow and learn. However, by the time you reach thirty most people don’t need or have time for new friends. This is something I have experienced when meeting new people over the last few years. 

The Friendships we don’t have feels like a taboo subject. A topic that’s rarely discussed on social media and in women’s magazines.Yet the majority of other difficult subjects such as sex or money are discussed daily. 

It’s probably assumed that everyone is surrounded by an amazing group of supportive friends who enrich their lives and are there for them no matter what, therefore this subject is dismissed. However, a recent study found that a large percentage of the UK are lonely, so much so they’ve appointed a minister for loneliness to try and solve this growing issue among uk citizens. I am very interested to see what framework Tracey Crouch will put into practice to tackle this growing issue that effects about nine million UK people, both young and old.

These statistics prove that I’m not the only one without that large circle of friends, but admitting this is difficult. I’m not writing this for pity, I am writing this because this is an untouched subject that I have read very little about. Maybe people are afraid to admit this or possibly this can be a sad subject to talk about, but I feel the more this topic is addressed the more improvements are being made.

The small amount of articles and books I have read and listened to about this subject has been something I can definitely relate to. What I don’t come across often is useful advice on how to meet new people or make new friends whatever age. Articles I have read recommended joining a hobby group but again that can be daunting and unsuccessful. I’ve been to many gym classes and never  sparked up a conversation with anyone. Social media groups are also another suggested resource but does this have a certain stigma around it?

I often feel where you live and what stage of life you are at can effect friendships. Living in the city where there is a larger group of younger, socially active individuals could make it easier to meet people than say somewhere rural and quiet. Wherever you may live you have to build up the confidence and put yourselves out there. After all when trying to meet new people you have nothing to lose only something to gain.

In my wedding speech (curve-ball) I named my husband as my best friend. I’m sure this is common now but previous stereotypes would have it be that as a women your best friend would be a female. 

I am extremely proud of the friendship I have with my husband, we have been together for 12 years and it’s often known that when meeting young you can grow apart. I have been extremely lucky that we have grown together and we have positively impacted each other’s lives in many ways. We can discuss all topics and most importantly he makes me laugh. 

Lastly, he’s stood by me and supported me through the most toughest times. When life’s fallen apart around me he’s the friend who has picked me up and carried me on because that's what best friends do, male or female.

Reading, Watching & Listening #1

A new type of post including discussion and recommendations from me on what I've loved reading, watching and listening to this week.

Reading...
Meg Wolitzer - The Interestings
An insight into the lives of six teenagers who met in the mid 1970’s and always vowed to be interesting. Fast forward two decades and their once strong friendship is put under strain by envy and crushing disappointment.

Faux vs Fur - Fashions hairiest debate - ft.com
An extremely relevant read, debating the impacts Faux Fur has on the environment and whether using real fur is better or worse.

Watching...
Netflix Original
Joan Didion ‘The Centre will not hold'
Great insight into the life of Writer and Journalist Joan Didion. Brilliant film clips and photography from 1970’s LA.

Netflix Original
Power
Low brow, easy watching crime drama. Perfect after a long day in the office.

Listening...
Podcasts
Love Stories with Dolly Alderton
Individuals from popular culture discussing their life love stories with writer and journalists Dolly Alderton. Witty, honest and insightful.

You me and the Big C
Three very brave women discussing their experiences of cancer in all shapes and form.

Radio Fours Women’s Hour
Topical discussion from a female perspective - particularly loved their interview with Margot Robbie star of new biopic I, Tonya.

Ph Credit -Pinterest

New York fashion week - street style trends we can try in real life

 

It’s fashion month! Hooray!  It’s also the AW18 shows which makes it all the more exciting. Autumn/winter dressing is my favourite, I’m guessing this comes down to it being constantly cold here in the north of the UK and the fact I’m very pale and never get a tan and come summer, I struggle to disguise this. 

So far the New York shows have offered up some amazing pieces and I feel like I’ve fallen in love with fashion all over again, but more on that later. 

Today it’s about the street style! Yes, I know fashion week is about the designs coming down the runways but over the last 10 years those entering the shows have offered us similar exciting, inspiring and (sometimes) wearable fashion trends we can try in real life.

I constantly use street style as my source of inspiration and fashion weeks in New York, London, Milan and Paris brings together stylish individuals from all over the globe. Each portray their own personal style using different fashion pieces in creative and beautiful ways. 

Street style doesn’t have to always represent what is trending but what people love and feel comfortable in, which is what fashion is all about. It can often also be a brilliant way to spot emerging future trends too. These are my favourites so far.

Ph credit - Vogue and Harper's Bazaar

Now I'm thirty, should I have my s**t together?

What does having your shit together involve and is it possible to achieve it by the time you're thirty, or will we be aiming for this our whole lives? 

For me, a small move towards having my shit together recently is doing the washing up before I go to bed (at 9.30 because I’m not in my twenties anymore and I’m tired!), as there’s nothing better than getting out of bed in the morning to a tidy home. Reading this back to myself makes me realise how my life has changed. 

In August I turned thirty, this didn’t raise any concerns. 

I’m not the type who needed to accomplish particular goals by the the time I reached this age i.e buy a house, get married. The latter ended up happening naturally - as already mentioned in a recent post I’d never envisioned getting married until my now husband proposed. But un-expected suprises are the best.

As a recent graduate all I really wanted to do by the time I reached thirty was graduate and with a job. I’m not 22, I’ve started my climb up the career ladder later than most so having a job when I graduated was important. I knew I would be nearly thirty and needed to get my act together. Yes, I loved being a student but gaining a job was the reason I went to university in the first place. 

Turning thirty for many is a milestone; some dread it, some revel in it. I even saw a guy on Instagram celebrated his thirtieth birthday with 30 drinks in 30 pubs in 30 days. Extravagant!

For myself it was just another birthday celebrated with close family and friends. I’ve never been one to go all out on Birthdays. 

But what has dawned on me recently is what my life should be or feel like now I’m thirty? Am I now a fully fledged grown up? Because to be honest I don’t feel like I’m there yet. 

I don’t own my own home and have only been in full time work for less than a year (since leaving university). This past few weeks, new evidence suggests we are physiologically adults at the age of 25. 

At 25 I still lived at home with my parents and had just left my job to go back to study. I definitely didn’t feel very adult. Yes I worked part time and paid my way but this was a far cry from some others my age. Some were married with children by that age, we all reach these supposed life goals at different periods. Some may feel ready for that commitment others are still enjoying going out drinking with friends and rolling into work with a hangover. I was enjoying the latter and enjoyed every single minute of it. 

But there comes a point when things have to change and planning your future becomes important. 

It’s time to not be hungover on weekends and open that help to buy ISA. 

However, we are constantly under pressure to have life figured out, what’s the best age to get married, buy a home or have a family. When really the majority of us will figure this out at different times in our lives. Why should we follow stereotypes and do as others do? Following suit can often make us feel deflated or envious so I believe it’s great to be different and plan our lives how we want them to be or not to be. 

Getting your shit together involves many aspects, recently I feel productivity is key! Life’s crazy busy for us all. I work a 40+ hour week plus two hour commute there and back and I’m trying to fit exercise into my daily routine too so being productive is currently how I’m getting my life on track. Yes it’s tiring but that’s life and you get out what you put in. 

Carrie Bradshaw said your thirties were to learn the lessons. She’s fictional but correct. By the time you reach thirty you are starting to learn life’s lessons. Mistakes are made, we are human and don’t always get things right the first time, but we learn from them more than we did in our early twenties. 

  

If you don’t have life figured out by the time you're thirty, I’m sure you’re not the only one. Life’s difficult and brilliant and terrible life changing situations are thrown at us that we may have never expected or know how to deal with, but we’re human and continue to learn and grow no matter what age. Small steps to possibly having it all/ my shit together is what I’m aiming for, it’s what we should all aim for. 

ph credit - Trendland
edited using Beautiful Little Mess

Prosecco Gate

It's come to the end of summer, we've already started to dig out our boots, winter coats and used that umbrella far too many times, but hey that's the great British weather. At least we have our summer memories right? Trips to the beach, wine in the garden you know the drill.  I'm pretty sure your summer as well as mine involved consuming copious amounts of Prosecco and if not then where have you been, what have you been doing?! Literally everywhere I've looked these past few months, homosapiens of all ages and genders have been drinking Prosecco. It's the talk of the town! I've seen it on trains in screw cap bottles, accompanying woo girls at tables donned with fireworks, in far too many Instagram stories and stacked on the shelves of Aldi in the largest bottles you have ever seen for only £23.00!! 

It now even comes in organic (yes, I've tried it) and reduced sugar versions, us British people have jumped on the Prosecco band waggon even to the point of sharing running out scare stories on Facebook!! 

 

Although this summer I've enjoyed a few glasses (bottles) of fizz myself I have to say it's not my friend when it comes to hangovers. I'm guessing there's a reason it's cheap - those bubbles seem to cause nausea, head aches and that hangover induced anxiety I often feel the day after! 

I've decided I'm changing to champagne. This year has involved a few reasons to celebrate, my upcoming wedding, turning 30, graduation and as such, I've become accustommed to champagne. Which delightfully doesn't leave me feeling like I want to face plant the sofa the next day (most of the time) but unfortunately pulls on the purse strings. But hey who says you can't enjoy a bottle of Veuve on the couch just because it's Friday!! It's cheaper from the supermarket and if all else fails, Aldi do a great version for £10!! 

Ph Credit : Pinterest